Anicca, Dukkha, Anatta

gold in the air of summer

2007-01-11T16:33:30Z

Without giving anything away
I can say it's by the sea
It's a house that used to be
The home of a friend of mine

Without giving anything away
You'll find ships inside of bottles
When the garden's overgrown
The house is white, but the paint is coming off

I didn't know if you wanted to
But I came to pick you up
You didn't even hesitate
And now you and me are on our way
I think I've bought everything we need
Don't look back, don't think of the ...
All the places we should've been
It's a good thing that you came along with me

Gold in the air of summer
You'll shine like gold in the air of summer
You'll shine like gold in the air of summer
You'll shine like gold in the air of summer

kings of convenience

gin blossoms

2006-12-05T03:14:57Z

hey jealousy

Tell me do you think itd be all right
If I could just crash here tonight
You can see Im in no shape for driving
And anyway Ive got no place to go
And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best Id ever had
If I hadnt blown the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place...hey jealousy
And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you dont expect too much from me
You might not be let down
Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadnt blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place...hey jealousy
She took my heart
Theres only one thing I couldnt start

calexico and iron & wine

2006-12-03T05:37:11Z

Burn That Broken Bed

How do you bust the clouds
Press on your back been hanging in the air
I wanna scope you out
I wanna touch your mouth when you're up there

When are you coming back
Bird on a branch will come back home to sing
When are you coming back
Bringing it back and singing what you bring

How do you bust the clouds
Head on the ground and feeling what you've seen
I wanna scope you out
I wanna be your eyes and show you me

When are you coming back
When are you gonna burn that broken bed
When are you coming back
I wanna see you drifting overhead

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-11-30T21:03:00

2006-12-01T01:03:09Z

1 Corinthians 13

Love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-11-28T02:25:00

2006-11-28T06:25:48Z

my heart is a drawer
pulled out
a garden of red underwear

choose your favorite
you can have it all

you forgot and called me baby

these ones will be perfect
irresistible

i miss your hot hands

i'm cold

when are you coming to see me, baby?

Stephen Crane

2006-11-19T16:36:22Z

Stephen Crane!

Love forgive me if I wish you grief
For in your grief
You huddle to my breast
And for it
Would I pay the price of your grief

You walk among men
And all men do not surrender
And this I understand
That love reaches his hand
In mercy to me.

He had your picture in his room
A scurvy traitor picture
And he smiled
- Merely a fat complacence
Of men who know fine women -
And thus I divided with him
A part of my love

Fool, not to know that thy little shoe
Can make men weep!
- Some men weep.
I weep and I gnash
And I love the little shoe
The little, little shoe.

God give me medals
God give me loud honors
That I may strut before you, sweetheart
And be worthy of -
- The love I bear you.

Now let me crunch you
With full weight of affrighted love
I doubted you
- I doubted you -
And in this short doubting
My love grew like a genie
For my further undoing.

Beware of my Mends
Be not in speech too ñivil
For in all courtesy
My weak heart sees spectres,
Mists of desires
Arising from the lips of my chosen
Be not civil.

The flower I gave thee once
Was incident to a stride
A detail of a gesture
But search those pale petals
And see engraven thereon
A record of my intention.

stephen crane!

again

2006-11-19T06:33:14Z

he was not who i thought he was
nor who i thought he could be

dreamgirls cannot be loved.

again and again

i dont understand

sufjan stevens- Holland

2006-11-03T16:44:12Z

all the time we spent in bed
counting miles before we said:
fall in love,and fall apart
things will end before they start.

sleeping on lake michigan
factories and marching bands
lose our clothes in summertime
lose ourselves to lose our minds
in the summer heat, i might.

UNTAMED

2006-10-18T20:51:35Z

untamed has received full funding from the college. WE ARE GOING TO PRINT!

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-08-22T23:22:00

2006-08-23T03:24:53Z

what's in a kiss????

why do i post

2006-08-23T02:19:18Z

i post to absent readers
i post to the future me who will become reader
i post into cyberspace giving a framework to my thoughts
a box to put my thoughts in
so they're not alone in me
but possibly
new
to someone else

"Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence."

- T.S. Eliot "The Waste Land"

man; the brave coward

2006-08-23T00:12:21Z

such a man
what a man!
just a man
only a man

what immensity
what weight
like the earth

and i'm the sky

it's your hair
and your muscles
and your hands

but more
it's your gaze
the way you breathe
your posture

and more still
that flicker of fear
the fear of failure
the insecurity residing in every man's heart

such a man.
what a man!
just a man
only a man.

hold the sky in your arms
inhale
i will dash your doubts
i am woman
such a woman
what a woman!
just a woman

only a woman.

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-08-20T00:33:00

2006-08-20T04:33:05Z

don't judge, you cannot know the love that clung to my bones.

even I don't understand.

don't judge, you cannot know the love that clung to my bones.

even I don't understand.

don't judge, you cannot know the love that clung to my bones.

even I don't understand.

don't judge, you cannot know the love that clung to my bones.

even I don't understand.

learn

2006-08-20T04:22:18Z

learn kathy's song on the guitar
learn america

learn neruda,
learn lorca,
learn eliot, cummings, Tennyson.
learn tennyson

learn hardy

learn the buddha

learn my face
learn

my hands

my neck

my freckles

my eyes
learn them

learn my handwriting

my voice

my laugh
learn my laugh

learn my twitches
learn my cringes

learn my sighs

learn my toes

learn my need to cry

learn my blood

my breath

my thoughts

read me
deeper

strife, tears, necessary-- where are they hiding?

2006-08-20T04:18:46Z

windows
hands like windows
that open
letting in the cold air of nostalgia
my ribs
cannot
contain
the swelling
of my heart
the swelling
swelling
swelling of
memory
which has no scent
taste
sound or image
only
feeling
a fullness
of being alone

love and some verses

2006-08-07T12:49:43Z

"Love is a dress that you made
long to hide your knees
love to say this to your face,
"I'll love you only"
for your days and excitement,
what will you keep for to wear?
someday drawing you different,
may I be weaved in your hair?

Love and some verses you hear
say what you can't say
love, to say this in your ear,
"I'll love you that way"
from your changing contentments,
what will you choose for to share?
someday drawing you different,
may I be weaved in your hair?"

iron and wine

what a dream i had pressed in organdy clothed in crinolin of smoky burgundy....

2006-07-25T15:36:49Z

Like the autumn wind that wrestles with the trees and braids my hair, we strive to hold the hand of earthy life with words, but language is always grasping, never holding. So, when my tongue rangles fruitlessly with empty utterances, my homeward bound hand clasps yours, warm and present, and the world yields for love.

What I don't know, what I can’t know, I make up for with feeling.

dripping bells
granite tombs
rosy dawn
sage
juniper
morning fog
chickadee

i don't speak french

2006-07-01T19:52:47Z

. . . l'homme à l'âme dure
Vautré dans le bonheur, où ses seuls appétits
Mangent, et qui s'entête à chercher cette ordure
Pour l'offrir à la femme allaitant ses petits,

("the hard-souled man, wallowing in happiness, where only his appetites feed, and who insists on seeking out this filth to offer to the wife suckling his children")

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-06-24T10:31:00

2006-06-24T14:32:44Z

Elliott Smith - Twilight Lyrics; From a Basement on a Hill

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop
now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the
sunshine
I don't want to see the day when it's
dying

She's a sight to see, she's good to
me
I'm already somebody's baby
She's a
pretty thing and she knows everything
But I'm already
somebody's baby

You don't deserve to be
lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel
better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together

I'm nice to you, I could make it through
That
you're already somebody's baby
I could make you
smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with
me baby

Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think
that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I
got no fight

You're wonderful, when it's
beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well,
I'm already somebody's baby
Already
somebody's baby

neil young

2006-06-18T03:22:14Z

"Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin
We could dream this night away.

But theres a full moon risin
Lets go dancin in the light
We know where the musics playin
Lets go out and feel the night.

Because Im still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because Im still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.

But now its gettin late
And the moon is climbin high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin in your eye.

Because Im still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because Im still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-06-13T00:31:00

2006-06-13T04:34:02Z

So, there was this red pick up truck I used to drive around. it was too big. it was awkward to handle, but I liked taking big awkward corners and revving it up and bumping around. my thighs used to stick to the vinyl seats on humid late summer nights, and i would put the windows down and listen to the crickets whirr by. i'd pull into the driveway. i'd slam the heavy metal door and wake my dad as i pulled the sticky front door open. "Val, is that you?"
"Ya."
"You all right?"
pause. "Ya."
Why'd he have to make me question my wellbeing all the time.

there'd be moths fluttering in the porchlight.

maybe a few bats flying from black tree to black tree.
shapes.

my cat, purring under my hand.

sheets that smell like cedar.

streetlights through my window.

unsatisfactoriness.

maybe sleep, eventually.

bacon in the morning.

birds.

textmessaging poetry is like textmessaging sex. well...it's rotten, but it works

2006-06-13T04:28:20Z

the
lightness of sleep
with you
is like
white dogwood flowers
still bright at dusk
still open

---
but i miss the heavy breathing of your deep sleep against my shoulder
heavy hands
heavy hearts

soul coughing.
"Janine, I drink you up"
"You are the baltic sea, and I am a cup, uh huh."
---

irrationality. rashness. hivesness

ok, scratch that

2006-06-13T04:19:22Z

things get turned upside down,
"things fall apart"
but things come together too
you never know.

peace of mind.
too stubborn to meditate
too frustrated to write
painting is shitty.
but i do it anyway.
sleeping is far away.
tv is inane.
food is gross.
too lazy to exercise.

shit happens.
that's what everything is, just shit happening.
if I could blink and time could be where I wanted it.

i know i just need to go outside, to be outside.
and so the beach it is.

the swelling of unsatisfactoriness.
and still
still
the comfort of love remains a fuzzy memory

as these hormones in my head frenzy

"yes."
"okay, baby."

a_moth_mistaken @ 2006-06-11T10:33:00

2006-06-11T14:34:21Z

The only part of the dream I remember is the last part. It’s late at night, and I’m walking on the street I used to live on. I can’t remember if I’m running from someone, or away, or why I’m there. But apparently it was a visit I made often. I go up to my old house, and I open the door. It’s unlocked. The kitchen nightlight is on. The house looks nice, different, with different things lying around. Appliances and flooring and cabinetry are all updated, poorly. I then hear the mother of the house, who I fear, come downstairs. She is in her pajamas. I am wearing some of her things apparently. I take them off to put them back. Had I stolen them? Borrowed them? (i've had dreams before about entering only into the foyer of my old house, wanting to explore more deeply, to be a voyeur into these people's lives, to see how they inhabit MY house...but i'm too afraid...although in real life i have sat outside of the house for many minutes, just watching). I then show her similar items of my own. These are things like scarves, mittens, dolls, and pieces of fabric. We place each of our things out onto the counter for comparison. She is intent on showing me that her items have more value than mine. “Look at the stitching on mine.” And I reply, “You could just buy yours. Mine are hand made.” We look down at my poorly made mittens that are falling apart. “There is more value in mine.” She disagrees and moves onto the next item. She is winning, but I stand strong, “Value is not what you think it is, ma’am. Your things are worth nothing to me.” “Then why do you want them?” She asks. She pushes me to leave, and I do, standing outside in the dark, waiting for someone to pick me up who will never come.